So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
