No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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