Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
