it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
