Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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