My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
