Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
