Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Actions speak louder than pants.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
