If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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