I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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