My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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