I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
