I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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