I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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