I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
