Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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