i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
do herpes really smell.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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