I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize