yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
