She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
