Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
