If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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