im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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