Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
