Already got asked if we're dating
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
