But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
