Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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