im so drunk with asians
where?
always
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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