I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
