I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
