what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
