I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so let's talk penis.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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