The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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