I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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