mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
