Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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