you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
