I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
