she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
