wanna go halves on a baby?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
