i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
