Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i will never coherently bang her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
