i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
ugly people sure do ruin things
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
