Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
