he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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