Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
