so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
