Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
