you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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