So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
tell me about the fingering
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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