I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
