oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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