I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
