if i can run in heels then i can drive
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so let's talk penis.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
