are you still at the devil's house?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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