I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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