I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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