And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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