her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
