How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
