I heard we made out
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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