sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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