apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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