She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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