Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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