i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
