I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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